Life's Never Boring with a Teenager Around

Exodus 20:12 - "Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

So, you remember my frustrations in my last blog? Well, there was a bit of a turnaround a couple of days later.

I had taken away all privileges : phone, playstation, computer (no car keys yet, but that will be the next thing after February). Things were quiet between us, not much conversation.

During the evening, while I was doing work on the computer, he asked me to come into his room to talk. Needless to say I was not very excited, because teenage boys can be very manipulative with their moms, and sweet talk them into thinking they made a mistake with the punishment. Many a time, I have been left feeling that I had done something wrong! I also knew that there would probably be some sweet talk in asking for the privileges back because how long can a teenager stay without their phone??

Well, I went in and sat down on his bed. He grabbed a pillow and put it on his lap, and without looking at me, went into a long, thought-provoking talk (mmmm, here it comes, I can hear you say).

Well, he spoke about how he had had our fight on his mind all day and how he was mulling over what I said about him never saying thank you, please or sorry. He said that he tried to put himself in my shoes and see that I was probably terrified when he was driving and that he had been wrong to mock me, even though, at the time, he thought he was just teasing me.

He said that he realized that he took me for granted many times, and that I did so much for him, yet he never took the time to thank me for all I did (at this time, I was getting really choked up because he has NEVER said anything like this to me before!!!).

In between this one-sided discussion, he would pause, think, and tell me that this was really hard for him because he was not used to saying things like this. Then he stopped. I asked, "That's it?" and he replied that it was. I asked if there was anything else (expecting him to ask for his privileges back), but he said that he was done. I paused a little while, and asked if he was going to ask for those things back ..... and he said that he wasn't. HOWEVER.... while I mentioned it .... :)

So, I gave him the choice - one or the other, not both. He chose the computer and said his phone could wait. Wow! No arguing, no trying to convince me otherwise. Growing up? Maturing? I think so.

I am so proud of him. Later I will post on another of his mature decisions (that have to do with his swim team and a choice he made).

Rules for the moms of Teenagers.

Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers. ~William Galvin

The frustrations of a parent - you love your kids so much, and yet they throw everything back at you at times. I know that this is what I signed up for, but it would be nice to get a "thank you" or a "please" or a "sorry" at the appropriate times! They think they know everything, including how to drive a car. In fact, they are more in control of that car than you could ever be, because they've been driving for a whole 10 months and you've only been driving for 25 years!

You're expected to make sure their clothes are clean and dinner is to their taste. Also, don't forget that even though they left their book bag in your classroom so they wouldn't have too much to carry to afterschool sports, you need to drag it (along with your bags of books and papers to grade) to the car so that homework is not forgotten. Make sure you remember to tell them that you took out the book they needed to read, before they explode at the fact that the bag was too heavy to carry and you left it behind!

Oh, and don't dare take away privileges, such as computer, playstation and phone! This is just not appropriate and will probably end up with you not being spoken to (which may be better than careless words). Don't try to tell them that their behavior was inappropriate or the words they used were disrespectful, because you may be told that this is "just the way I am and I can't change". Mmmm - really?? Let's see if not having access to technology will help you take some time to think about this statement!

Yet, after all of this, you remember the times where you laughed together at something that wasn't really that funny. You remember how you put your bags at the bottom of the stairs to pick up later, only to find out that they have carried them up for you - without you asking (and on a regular basis!). You remember the times that they come up to you and simply hug you - for no reason.

So, even though the comments and the actions hurt, the love you have for that child is too deep to deny. Just a few more years and hopefully, after all the discipline, they will rise up and call me blessed :) Because I am blessed - as a mom!

Praying for Miracles

The antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God's guidance.
- Norman Vincent Peale


Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
- Helen Keller


Where hope grows, miracles blossom.
- Elna Rae

It's been a long journey, one where we have had challenges, and successes. Looking to the future, I am so glad that I can rely on my God for things to come. If I was not that way inclined, there would be no hope and I would be living a life of depression!

Living here in the USA has been such a blessing. My children have received a wonderful education, we have had peace of mind in everything. No, we are not flush with money, and no, we do not have everything we want, but we DO have everything we NEED! As much as we would love to have a house of our own after renting for 10 years, we have a roof over our heads that has kept our family together, safe and warm, building memories that will last for a lifetime.

When I watch the news, or check my email, I tend to worry about our future. I see how the budget is in trouble, and how jobs are being lost. I think about how I've taught in the same school for 10 years, making friends, connecting with students, and yet I may have to move in order to get a chance to apply for a green card which would mean a more permanent status. That chance gets less and less each year because of the economic situation.

However, I cannot sit and worry - it's not going to take me anywhere! I have to go out in faith, do what needs to be done, and pray that I am always in God's will. If I can do this, then I know, no matter what, I will be in the right place. Yes, I may have to move and get out of my comfort zone - that may be a chance for growth and new discoveries about myself. Yes, I may have to leave friends that I have worked with for 10 years and whom I have become close to, but it may be time to make new ones and keep in contact with the old ones - how does that saying go? Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold." --Girl Scout song

So, whatever the future brings, if I can live with hope and faith that everything will work out in the end to my good, then I can live in peace.